Introductory offers apply

The potential of blending lives is such a foreign concept to me. Actually, I should clarify that — what’s foreign is the blending of each other's people. 

It’s been a long time since “my people and your people need to meet.” I remember when My Favorite Husband (MFH) and I began dating so very many years ago. Meeting people at the racetrack, people from work and, most important, his family both immediate and extended. It was only a few months after we began to date that we were introducing each other to everyone. It was easier for us to do so — no prior marriages, and no children to explain who this new, significant person is. Just each other with everyone happy for us, cheering us on. We both came from large extended families and keeping everyone straight was a challenge in such a good way. 

It’s different with the Beautiful Human Being (BHB), though. He has adult children navigating their own lives. A marriage that isn’t legally finished although a long time in the separation process. Friends and a community of people who know both his ex and him, and introducing me in a large crowd where both of them are isn’t ideal. Even though they’ve each moved forward, the sting of doing so is possible. Right now, I chose not to be part of any potential drama. 

I’ve met his closest friends. An aunt who raised him. Favourite cousins. For the most part, interactions that have been curated to keep both of us safe and supported. He’s neither kept me a secret nor flaunted my presence. 

Our relationship is still so new — not quite five months — that most introductions can wait. Wait until there’s a few more tomorrows. And while I do believe there never is a certainty in tomorrows, perhaps the growth and roots that strengthen with each passing day will make new relationships easier.

Will I ever meet his children? If we get to a place where it’s appropriate, I will. I refuse to be treated like a secret and the BHB hasn’t treated me as such to date, so I trust that will remain true. Will I ever attend a group function and meet people outside of his inner circle? Perhaps. If the time and place is right.

It’s interesting to me the mixed emotions I have over both. On the one hand, it feels like we’ve been together forever, so I am eager to be fully immersed in his life and his people. On the other hand, my brain slows my heart and says that while time doesn’t matter, it actually does. Truth be told, there’s a good chance not everyone I meet in his world will be supportive and understanding. And building a stronger foundation will help ensure those tricky meetings are navigated with steadier hands and emotions that are tempered.

The BHB has met a couple of my friends. My Mom. A niece. Meeting others has simply been logistics on my part. Even my sister in law - MFH's sister - would like to meet him when time allows. He has agreed to attend a wedding with me at the beginning of August. Other events as they unfold.

The last time I did people blending — people curating — was after MFH died. As I began to make my own friends, let go of some mutual ones and tighten my circle, I’m reminded of the life I’ve built. The people I’ve fiercely protected. The ones I’m not sure I want to share. Yet I do. I do want him to meet people and learn about who I am from a different perspective. 

I want to get attached. I’m scared to get attached. Ive decided that the best course of action is not to overthink, to anticipate what will happen just to simply let things unfold including the sharing of people. 

One day at a time. One person at a time.