I've learned a mirror can be made from ceramics

I fell in love with the beautiful ceramic pieces from the moment I saw them. Why? I don’t honestly know. But like most of the art I have, I’m drawn to works that speak to me, even if I’m not clear yet on what the message is.

The sister-in-law of my Heart Sister in Portugal makes beautiful ceramic pieces. On my recent visit, I found myself admiring my Heart Sister’s shadow casters — ceramic pieces pierced with holes, lit from within by a tea light, the effect creating an ethereal glow. Their elegance and beauty made me want to bring one back to Canada and create similar magic in my home. 

My Heart Sister told me her sister-in-law created them and that she would ask if I could visit her studio and see her pieces.

I was thrilled by the offer.

The artisan is a warm, kind, elegant woman. Her inner beauty bubbles out of her continually, joining her outer beauty, the result being a woman who’s easy to like. I’ve met her on each of my trips to Portugal and we chat with each other with an ease and soft familiarity that’s unforced. So, not only was I looking forward to connecting with her on our planned outings with my Heart Sister (and their respective husbands), I was looking forward to being welcomed back into her studio. 

The day arrived when my Heart Sister and I would stop by her studio before all of us left to attend a local fair. I was confident I knew what I wanted and the approximate size of an item I was willing to risk to the baggage-handling gods. My Heart Sister giggled and gently reminded me that there were a lot of beautiful things waiting for me to look at. Outwardly, I agreed. Inwardly, I rolled my eyes. I was a girl on a mission. 

I walked into the studio and, to my left, I spied a shelf with shadow casters. Straight ahead and to my right was a shelving unit with other items on display. Nestled among them, The Woman and The Girl. I was intrigued immediately and wanted to get a closer look. But wait! That might divert me from my mission of a shadow caster purchase! Eyes to the left! Eyes left!

Awww shit, the eyes drifted back and locked firmly on the women. One taller, one smaller. I moved forward to look at them, meet them and see why I was drawn to them. They are obviously beautifully crafted. Very similar but with differences. They belong together but not being an exact match, they can stand apart. 

The obvious first assumption is that they are mother and daughter, or sisters. Both of which are totally accurate. Or not. Because that’s not what I saw. Not what I see. It’s not the relationship that I presumed. I just couldn’t figure out, at first, what my interpretation is.

I looked back and forth between the item I thought I wanted and the items I knew needed to come home with me. For as beautiful as the shadow casters are, at this time, it’s not what the universe steered me towards. And while I could afford to buy both, getting them home could be risky. I would like to say I forced myself to choose but that’s a lie. The women were chosen to come home with me. 

And so my friend bubble-wrapped them securely and put them in a jute bag with small ceramic hearts on the bottom. And I safely packed them into my carry-on tote, guarding them like the most precious cargo. 

They’ve arrived in Canada with me. I set them up, looked at them for a bit and smiled. Sure, they could be my Heart Sister and I. They could be my Mom and I. And while that didn’t feel wrong, it just wasn’t quite right. I knew that eventually I’d figure out the message that is meant for me.

Eventually didn’t take long. Jet-lagged and with a tummy flu that knocked me on my butt, I’ve had ample time to think about my holiday and capture some of it in a post or two. In fact, it was while looking through photos for a blog post that I came across one I took of the women and stopped. Thoughts of my self-discoveries on my holiday. A miscommunication with a close friend that has brought on self-reflection about my part in the misunderstanding and thoughts on a resolution. The underlaying theme: self-discovery. Growth. Moving forward without leaving behind large parts of who I am. Honouring all of me, then and now. 

The Woman and The Girl are me. 

The Girl isn’t just about age but about growing to a place in life and then remaining still in that moment of time. The Woman is who I am now, especially in the last four years. She is growing, expanding and changing. And this growth is reflected in her size. If she was a living, breathing entity, she would be growing still. Even though she can stand alone — they both can — they belong together because the two of them together represent one person. 

Me.

I’m not sure exactly where they will live in my home but now that I know why they are here, I know they need to be somewhere where I can remind myself of who I was, who I am and who I will be. They will remind me to be open, kind, accepting. To treat myself as worthy and valuable. To see myself through the eyes of grace, the same grace I freely extend to others. And, wherever they are placed, those tiny ceramic hearts will surround them. They, too, are part of the message: no matter The Girl, no matter The Woman, lead with my heart, lead with love. Love for others. Love for myself.