An awesome August had me flyin' high

Look over there! It's my house!

Take me to the pilot, August!

August. If I could capture a complete snapshot of my life in a single month, it would be this past August. 

The month starts with events that will, for the rest of my life, be challenging. What would’ve been our wedding anniversary, a day that will be forever frozen at the 24-year mark. A week later, My Favourite Husband’s (MFH's) death-iversary, the only day that will be counted as the years roll forward.

I’ve made peace over the last four years with both. With our wedding anniversary, I focus on the good times; the memories that make me smile. I could be sad that there will not be more years and, initially, I was. But now I’m grateful for the years I did have. As for MFH’S death-iversary, I can’t change the fact he’s gone. Does it still hurt? Of course. However, it’s a different hurt; a softer, gentler hurt. Much like our anniversary, when the day comes I choose to remember our lives together and not the abrupt ending of our union. 

Most significantly, for me, is that they are part of my life. Events to be acknowledged, celebrated by me for how they shaped who I was then and who I am now. Dates that will be marked every year I’m alive in some small way but blended into all that is my life. 

As August moved on, I had medical appointments: one follow-up to my day surgery with positive results and one an assessment on my knees that are giving me grief. And the wheels have been put in motion for knee replacements in the future.

All of this, the side of life that requires adjustment. From finding the balance between grief and gratitude to dealing with an aging body (no, I’m not 30 anymore), this is the side of life that brings times of reflection, times that acknowledge change and motivate me to change course mentally, emotionally and physically. This is a gentle reminder that nothing is permanent and that taking care of myself in all ways will give me the best quality of life for the remainder of my life. 

Life isn’t all about the seriousness of it, though. And if I get pointed and poignant reminders, I also get nudges to get out and enjoy every opportunity I get. And so, especially for the last two weeks of August, I did. 

I became the ultimate “yes” girl. I attended Symphony Under the Sky, a pop classic performance by our local symphony. Sitting on a grassy slope on a ski hill with an amazing orchestra reverberating throughout the valley is one of my favourite yearly solo dates. I also sat outdoors in both the Japanese Garden and the Aga Khan garden on a beautiful summer night to hear Opera al Fresco. The voices of a soprano and tenor performing for an appreciative audience. I saw a play at The Fringe festival and I saw a holdover Fringe show: a burlesque performance that was humorous and showcased amazing talent. In fact, I saw the opera and burlesque performances within days of each other and I smile at how I enjoyed both equally. 

A friend and I attended a craft beer festival at our local zoo, a fundraiser for new zoo programs. I went to a surprise birthday party, a citizenship celebration. I went solo and with friends. I found a rhythm and a groove where I didn’t become overwhelmed and anxious by saying “yes” a lot, which I feared I might.

I loved everything. All of it. However, if I had to pick just one thing, I probably would pick the day a friend took me flying. I’ve never been up in a 'little plane' before. My friend is flying hours to get his commercial pilot's licence and asked if I wanted to go up. Before the last word dropped from his lips, I squealed: “Hell, yes!” It was a beautiful day to go flying. Sunny, clear skies for as far as I could see. He got permission from air traffic control to do a city tour and we flew over the downtown and over my house. We flew across fields and every single moment I was up there sank into my memory to be imprinted forever. It was freeing. It was fun. 

I’ve worked aviation at the airport and aviation in the skies as a flight attendant but I’ve never had the thrill of flying in a little plane before. 

Far too soon, our adventure was over. Greedy girl that I am, I want more. I’m not quite convinced I want to take flying lessons myself but I’m not quite convinced that I don’t. 

Life is all about the balance. It’s the moments that buckle my knees, test me and make me start finding my way down a new path. It’s the moments that make me appreciate who I  am, then and now. It’s about the sad and the sorry but also about the joy and the giddy. It’s about friends and family and also about being so comfortable being alone and enjoying life from that perspective as well. 

August was bold and beautiful. 

August was life.