My Key To Staying Young..Ignore The Mirror and Reflect Inward

Most days I don’t feel my age. Well, maybe I should rephrase that - mentally I don’t feel my age nor do I act my age. Physically though, the years are creeping up. The aches, the pains, the “noises”- of stiff, creaking joints, efforts to raise from a chair. The effortless way of moving from decades ago has slowed and instead of being easy they are now deliberate movements.

Am I old? Don’t know, mostly because I’m not sure what “old” is. The goalposts for that maker keep moving as I celebrate each spin around the sun. What I do know is that every once in awhile I get jolted out of the time warp I cocoon myself into by believing I’m many years younger.

Sometimes the jolt is when I see young people I haven’t seen for years, no longer children but adults. The metamorphosis from child’s play to adult responsibilities without following the journey often surprises me. It shouldn’t, it’s what we are meant to do - grow into adulthood. But it can catch me off guard just the same.

The same happens when I see people decades older than me - people I haven’t seen in many years. It happened recently at a funeral of a family friend. It has been over 20 years- in some cases longer - since I’ve seen many of these people. People that I’ve literally known all my life- friends of my parents that lived in the farming community I grew up in. Hard workers. Hell raisers. People of strength and vitality. 

Walkers. Canes. Hearing aids. Memory issues. Round faces pinched and drawn. Lined hands, faces. Arthritic fingers attempting to grasp mine as they tell me “it’s been so long… it’s good to see you… you haven’t changed”. But that’s a huge lie. For if everyone around me has changed, then I, too, have changed.

If the years have taken their toll on everyone else, they’ve taken their toll on me as well. 

And so, as I sit in my car later that day, I take a selfie. A closeup picture of the face that reflects back at me daily. 

I study it when I get home. I see the deep lines around my eyes. Laugh lines? Absolutely. But worry lines as well. I see the wrinkles under my eyes, years of worry about My Favorite Husband’s health and carrying the day to day business of making our lives work so he could focus solely on being alive. I see the neck - God I hate my neck- the wrinkled flesh that reminds me of the crispy, roasted skin of a turkey. 

I’ve aged. Fuck, I’ve aged. Blah. I’ll be 60 in a few short months. I’ve had no cosmetic surgery. Used decent but not expensive creams and potions not to retain my youth but to keep my skin clean and hydrated. I exercise my body - my curvy body that has “thanked” me by not dropping the extra pounds and by pronouncing my cellulite. 

When did I get “old”? 

Once I’ve finished beating myself up I know I need to stop and dump the negativity. Reset. Accept. 

That brings me back to a compliment I recently received from someone I bumped into not long ago. A wonderful gentleman I worked with a few years back and after COVID retirements happened hadn’t seen “live and in person “ since. 

After bumping into him briefly I sent him a message letting him know I enjoyed our interaction and I’m glad that life is treating him kindly. His reply made me think…. “You are looking fabulous and full of energy”. The “looking fabulous” part is lovely - honest. But the “full of energy” part is something I respond deeply to. Because isn’t that the key? My body will age. I will not look like I’m decades younger. The lines that crease my face, the softness that envelopes the curves of my body - I think they are with me for the long haul. I’ll make peace with them. Thank them because I’m privileged to both living and living a life I love.

It’ll be my energy. My joie de vivre that will keep me young. My thirst for adventures new and old. The possibilities, the choices. This second chapter where I get to choose where I go and who I travel with. Walking through the open doors, taking risks because I want to live and not merely exist. The boundless love I have for family and friends and friends that are family… and, perhaps one day, for a man brave enough to share adventures with me.

So maybe the trick to being young isn’t to be chasing physical youth - to reflect and worry about what I see in the mirror. Just throw that beautiful woman in the mirror a saucy wink as I turn to leave. Accept her as my body progressively ages and I, too, need mobility devices, hearing devices… help in all its forms.  Maybe the trick is to keep doing what I’m already doing - being full of energy- a free spirit that is living a bold and beautiful life.