My Gift of Time

I grew up being taught that if you have more than enough and someone is in need, you share. Necessities - food, clothing. Helping neighbours was the expectation. Kindness mattered. 

I’ve tried to do my best to keep that philosophy close. My Favorite Husband did as well. The person ahead of you in a grocery line was a little short? You covered the difference. Someone at work didn’t get a lunch? You shared yours. We both came from families that believed that what goes around comes around - both good and bad. 

As the world changes our communities change. Attitudes change. I’ve changed. I’ve been accused of looking at the world through rose coloured glasses and that’s probably true. But those glasses do have a coating of skepticism that films over them occasionally. A realization that a lot more people seem to need help these days. There’s a lot of giving needed but how much can I give? At what point do I draw my line in the sand and say “I have nothing left to share”?

In some instances it’s easier than others. Debit cards are prevalent in our Canadian society so there’s rarely change to pass out to a hand asking for money. Instead I carry a few gift cards for Tim Horton’s - a local coffee shop where beverages, baked goods and sandwiches can be had.  I’ll buy a meal for someone in need. And I’ll donate to different charities so the dollars I give can be put to use in programs that hopefully help. Having said this, I find I need to be prudent in how I can help monetarily. The world has become an expensive place for all of us.

But one of the things I DO have is time. Being semi-retired I’m busy but making time to spend a few hours lending a helping hand is very doable. 

I had applied with a large local homeless shelter about a year ago. Dropped communication and a change in personnel meant I was unable to see and choose volunteer positions. But that changed when a new volunteer coordinator was put into place. With things sorted (accessing schedules, my police check done) I could start giving my time. 

One of the opportunities is serving meals at a homeless Womens shelter affiliated to the larger Mission. When I saw the opportunity, it spoke to me. Clearly……

MFH had a harder outer shell than I did. But one thing that would make him vulnerable was homeless women. He told me that he felt for men who were homeless but his heart hurt for women in the same position. He felt that in addition to the physical challenges they faced being homeless, there was also the addition of them generally being smaller in stature and easier to be victimized. And so it was his pocket that were emptied for dollars to help. 

I remember eating supper at an A &W years ago with him. A woman went to the counter and didn’t have enough to buy much food. She approached a few people but not us. I couldn’t be sure but I think she might’ve been scared of MFH because he was a large, tall man. He wanted to help but didn’t know quite what to do. It would’ve been easy for me to take the reins but I really wanted him to have the interaction. And so, I encouraged him to approach her. Point to me. Assure her that he was safe. Ask if she was still hungry. And then do whatever spoke to his heart to help.

He did. He bought her a meal - whatever she wanted although she didn’t want much, and a gift card- enough for another meal. When he came back to the table he solemnly looked at me and said “Babe, I’ll do my best to make sure that’s never you”. …..

And so, the idea of serving meals to homeless women called to me. Am I doing it in his memory? Yes…and no. I’m a believer that if something feels right then it’s the right thing to do. 

My first shift was the first shift any volunteer had worked there for meal service. My team mates were employees and not volunteers. They know the Community Members and their personalities. And they introduced and included me. 

My duties were straightforward- plating up fruit and dinner buns on the plates passed to me. And then serving some of the women with mobility issues at their tables. 

The shift flew by and before long it was over. As I was putting on my coat in the office one of the Community Members looked at me and asked me if I needed to shop at plus size clothing stores or if I could shop at Walmart… “because of the size of your boobs you know”…..

And, with my smile still wide and my laughter still bubbling out I left. Happy to have made a small difference, happy to be welcomed to the team. 

I’ve been back since. And both the staff and the Community Members are opening up to me just a wee bit more. It takes time to trust when trust has been dented or broken. As with everyone else in life mine has in addition to theirs, just in different ways. We are all vulnerable but to move steps forward we will all need to trust someone else, even only if for a little bit. 

This opportunity will help me as much as it helps them and I look forward to meeting new people and hearing their stories. Everyone matters. We can all make a difference.