This (sexy butt) windshield wiper clears away inhibitions

“And that’s how you do the sexy butt windshield wiper move."

With the demonstration over, the class participants who were on all fours on yoga mats began swaying our butts in time with the music, rhythmically mimicking the swiping of wipers, side to side to side.

It was also at this part that I tried desperately to stifle my fit of giggles, not only at what we were doing but at the absurdity of the name of the move.

There’s a good chance I won’t be a serious burlesque performer.

I signed up for a four-week Introduction to Burlesque course and I’m three classes in. Why did I sign up?  For so many reasons. It will be fun. I’ll learn something new. And because the instructor promoted the class for being one of inclusivity — all genders, all ages, all sizes. And that all sounds pretty damn good to me! Besides, why not? 

I don’t know a lot about burlesque. I’ve bellydanced for a few years and loved the freedom and confidence it gives me. The way I move, the way I carry myself. I was hoping that burlesque would trigger those same positive feelings. Hope realized!

The first class was the history of burlesque and we were encouraged to come up with a stage name. The idea is that the stage name or identity would give us “permission” to shake off inhibitions, explore dance moves and celebrate our bodies. I still haven’t come up with a name (suggestions welcome in the comments!) but I haven’t found it to be a deterrent to what I’m trying in terms of moves and poses. At some point, if I continue to pursue this, I’ll come up with something uniquely me. It probably won’t be WTF. Maybe.

In addition to a history lesson, the first class included bevel posing, hand poses, bumps, grinds and chest shimmies. Turns out I’m very talented in the grind department probably because it’s a move very similar to hip circles in bellydancing. Gold star for this girl! It’s not all about the moves though. It’s about the attitude. A confident, sexy spirit dipped in playfulness is what makes the dancing work.

The second class was glove peels. Yup, how to take off gloves of various lengths in choreographed moves designed to delay the removal, to tease and tantalize the audience with the promise of a naked hand. You can take them off with your teeth, overhead, by creating an illusion of length by sliding them off one at a time, arms together.  Once those gloves were off, then … well then … well then what the heck do you do with them? Whatever we did, we needed to make sure we didn’t trip over them. Burlesque is fun and safety is not but, if you’re not safe, you’ll get injured. Try explaining that at work! (Side note: it was hard enough explaining to my manager at work why I needed to be off early on Tuesdays. OK, actually, that’s a lie because when I told him what I’m doing, he told me to have fun and approved it.)

That brings me to last night's class: floor work. How to get onto the floor in a graceful, playful way. And then moves and poses — on our tummies, on our hips, sitting on our butts. Legs scissoring gracefully, stretching long and lean, and then, before we began our journey to standing, moves on all fours.. a graceful segue to standing. Which brings me to sexy butt windshield wiper. Which makes me giggle as I’m writing it.

Admittedly, my instructor — one of the best burlesque performers in the city — said she makes up names for her moves so, if you’re googling this move, keep in mind nothing might show up. She says she does it because it makes her giggle and keeps her having fun during her performance. And if I’m learning from the best and being told having fun is cool, who am I to not sway my butt from side to side with a giggle?

Next week is my last class and we will be doing a little choreo. I’m excited to put it all together and see if I’m as comfortable and confident to others as I feel inside.

It’s interesting to me — not surprising but interesting — that not one of my heart sisters questioned why I was taking this class. They are just cheering me on and slightly jealous that I’m dancing in an air conditioned studio during a recent heat wave.

I’m pretty positive the other person cheering me on is My Favourite Husband. I had reined in quite a bit of my free spirit and quirks over the years, not because I was asked to but because it’s where life went. Now that I’m free to rediscover that side of me, I’m having fun living a different life. I like to think he’s smiling, laughing and throwing American paper money at me.

I think sexy butt windshield wiper deserves a $10 bill.