Generation gaps and gripes

It’s a conversation starter generations old - “”what’s wrong with youth today”? Words uttered with a shake of the head, rolling of the eyes, expressions of annoyance, frustration and perplexity etched deeply on lined faces. “I don’t understand why they do what they do”….

That’s the part that hits the hardest for me - the lack of understanding. Oh I try - sometimes a concerted effort sometimes not- but I often come up short for valid reasons how a generation (or two) younger than me can be so different than me. 

My most recent (and continuing) experience has been with some of the university students we hired this summer to work at the greenhouse I’m employed at. Every summer new seasonal staff are hired to join the returning staff. Returning staff are currently 40 years and older, “grizzly” women who’ve had a few spins around the sun, lots of seat time in life. Comprised of many characteristics, common sense and a daunting work ethic being two of the most prevalent. We are an accepting group, tolerant of much (the majority of us being mothers, grandmothers and wives) and fun - we are fun damn it! But when there’s work to be done we expect all hands to be on deck to do the work, to make it happen. 

This summer has seen the new staff bringing new attitudes to our team and some of those attitudes are, well, puzzling. Attitudes that this is “just a summer job” so there’s no need to work as hard, impress anyone. Attitudes that don’t take direction - or correction- well with assumptions being made that “doing what I want” on shift or doing a job that is not up to standards is ok. While there can be new and “improved” ways of doing things generally you should learn the old standard first.

It’s let to a lot of head shaking… a lot of head butting. And a lot of stubbornness and unwillingness to understand by both parties - the “new” and the “old” team members. 

For me the first step has been to acknowledge that growing up when I did and growing up now is incomparable. The technology (cellphones, computers especially) has allowed people to travel the world without leaving home. I had encyclopedias- now it’s Wikipedia. Party line telephones to individual cellphones. Knowledge at your fingertips with a mere few taps on a handheld key board. The sharing of information instantaneously. Growing up in my house whatever you did throughout your day was shared at the supper table and then, later on, with friends on the family phone (hoping that the cord stretched long enough into a room for privacy).

And while my generation participates in and embraces this technology, we are still puzzled by it to a degree. We are puzzled by the attachment to it… puzzled by the fact that in our generation we had conversations which is a lost art. I do want to say I see the irony in what I’m writing and the fact that I’ll be sending my thoughts out into the world, to people I haven’t met. I do have an appreciation for this as well….

The other big difference (from my personal vantage point) is expectations in what is achievable have changed greatly mostly due to finances. The world is a far more expensive place now. 

I recently had a conversation with a medical practitioner who’s roughly my age about growing up in the times we did. He grew up on the East coast, the son of a lobster fisherman. He knew from the time that he was very young that it was not a lifestyle he wanted. His father also didn’t want him to pull pots for a living and made sure his son was on the boat (when not in school)  from the time he was 11 years old. He learned the value of hard work and was paid for his efforts. He saved money to buy what he wanted but, more importantly, saved money to leave home. 

I grew up in a similar fashion. I grew up on a dairy farm in Alberta. From the time I was 8 years old I was helping with whatever farm chores I could. I, too, saved money to buy what I wanted and so that I could leave home.

Both of us grew up encouraged to seek a better life than what our parents had - to seek more. 

But the big difference between “then” and “now” was that we could afford to move out. We could afford post secondary educations, afford to rent apartments or basement suites. We left, worked our asses off and made our way in the world. Sometimes we could even afford a case of beer at the end of the week. 

I’m not sure that’s attainable in today’s world. In a world where the cost of living, of just making ends meet, is exorbitant, young people are staying home longer. And where our generation has been living on our own and independent for what seems to be a lifetime, that independence, that feeling of “leaving the nest” and making your way out into the world is delayed for many. I sometimes feel like I got a boot to the butt and kicked out of the nest while some generations younger haven’t yet experienced what it’s like to struggle. 

So, “what’s wrong with youth today”? The same thing that’s “wrong” with my generation… absolutely nothing that peace, love and understanding won’t help.