Thank you for your lessons, 2023

I’m not good  at New Year’s resolutions. I typically break ‘em as fast as I make ‘em. It’s not that I don’t like setting goals — I do — but I find that I get bored easily and I’m not good at setting goals that require a lot of structure. And so, I 'wing' a lot of things. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t, but I generally get tasks accomplished.

Instead of goal-setting I reflect back on my past year and think about what I’ve learned and how I can take those lessons forward. I celebrate my personal growth. Anything I wish I had done better or differently, I try and make sure I’m at peace with. I start a new year with gratitude for the lessons of the past one. 

With that in mind, here are some of the lessons of the past year I’m bringing with me into 2024:

1. Don’t be so hard on myself for things that haven’t gone as planned. This will always be a work in progress for me.
2. Acknowledge the things I’ve done well. It’s good to be humble; however, it’s perfectly fine to accept praise and self-congratulate a job well done.
3. Let go of people who currently don’t have a place in my life. Sometimes this is difficult but necessary. I’m someone who makes repeated efforts to maintain relationships through apologies and overtures. But if those efforts are not reciprocated, I need to be smart enough to put the relationship in the past and take the lessons learned forward. It doesn’t mean people can’t come back into my life but, if they do, I need to protect my peace. This is a hard lesson for someone like me who leads with her heart. I’m not always right, I’m not always wrong. It’s OK to move forward. It’s OK to know and acknowledge my worth.
4. Keep taking risks. This is an interesting paradox for me because I’m an extreme mix between risk taker and someone with an overabundance of caution. But keeping an open mind and trying something new can be a good thing. Some things I’m considering trying this year: online dating (I was vehemently opposed to it); promoting my blog while losing my anonymity; volunteering; a new career possibly in the nonprofit sector. I’ve taken different risks this past year. Some have paid off and some haven’t but, in each case, I’ve grown and learned something new about myself.
5. Keep putting love and kindness out into the world. Every simple act, from smiling at a stranger to picking up a tab, makes a difference. The gesture may not be reciprocated or even acknowledged in the moment but I believe what you put out into the world is what you get back. 
6. Learn to accept compliments with grace. This goes hand in hand, for me, with accepting acts of kindness with grace. I’m learning to say thank you for kind words instead of deflecting them or brushing them off. And, generally, I’m the girl who reaches to pay the tab first instead of letting someone else pay. It was pointed out to me, however, that not letting someone else take a turn can be perceived as rude. So, I’ll keep trying to be grateful and graceful for kind words and kind gestures. 
7. Keep accepting help. This is another hard one for me. I’m stubborn. I’m independent. I don't like to impose on people. So even if it takes me twice as long to do something, I’ll usually try and do it on my own. It’s how I muscled up a 100-lb. rowing machine from my basement up the stairs on my own. But I can’t do everything on my own and it’s OK to ask for and accept help. 
8. I’m not 18 anymore. Or 21. I’m at the age where my body is starting to tell me that despite being physically active, there are some things I can no longer do. If something hurts, take care of it. And if something REALLY hurts (like a kidney stone), don’t be a hero; get to a hospital because something even worse could be happening, like sepsis. I will forever be grateful to God or My Favourite Husband (MFH) or whatever prompted me to go to the emergency department after my stone started moving because going there allowed the bloodwork to be taken and the sepsis diagnosis to happen. If I hadn’t gone, the outcome at home would’ve been potentially fatal in time. So I must keep taking care of myself physically, in addition to mentally and spiritually. 

The lesson that I’m most grateful for and taking into 2024 is gratitude. Gratitude has been important all my life but especially since MFH died. Gratitude has allowed me to let love and grief live together in harmony in my life. Gratitude for the years together and the memories made. Gratitude for knowing what love is — the good, the bad and the ugly — until death do us part. Knowing what a good relationship is if I meet someone else bold enough to capture my heart. I will not accept anything less than an equal partnership and I’m grateful to know that. Gratitude for getting to know and appreciate this version of myself. Gratitude for all the people and the blessings in my life.

Thank you, 2023, for everything you taught me. This bold, adventurous woman who loves life and is coming into her own is grateful for it all.

❤️