Back to joy: moving, grooving and loving the loving things
Joy.
I had to dig deep to find it recently. Joy, happiness — they are both my natural default. I love to laugh. I love to smile Or, to quote one of the all-time best bands ever to grace a stage (Journey): “She loves to laugh, she loves to sing, she does everything."
And so I let myself be enveloped in sad knowing I’ve developed tools that will help pull me out of the darkness back into the light where I normally live. One time, not long after My Favourite Husband died, I sank into a dark space and I wasn’t sure how to leave. Pain, anger, sorrow, despair burrowed into every part of me. No matter how hard I wanted to surface, I couldn’t seem to figure out which way was up to break that surface. But there was a spark of light that never was extinguished and that spark kept me fighting to leave the dark place I was in. And I did. With the help of my trusted circle, my grief counsellor and my own tenacity, I surfaced and vowed I’d never let myself ever sink so far down that I had to struggle to see up. I’d feel those feelings but I’d always have a way to bring myself back.
Back to joy.
And so, I still hate fall. I’m still sad over the things that ached my heart. But the difference is this: I know the rough edges of that time in sadness will be smoothed by doing things that bring me joy.
And so, in no particular order, here’s a partial list of joy, the WTF version…
- Baking. Not cooking. Baking.
- Spending time with the people I love (when I’m ready to “people” again).
- Bellydancing.
- Planning my next travel and work adventures.
- Finding funny memes to share; reasons to laugh; sharing them and getting laughter in return.
- Recalling memories with My Favourite Husband.
Joy, love, life, laughter … thank you for the visit, sadness, because you’ll always be a part of my journey but it’s time for me to return back to the light.
“She loves to move, she loves to groove, she loves the loving things..."
❤️
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