Thank you, friends, for helping me rediscover who I am

It’s just a typical day. My phone is blowing up with messages from different people. Individual messages of people just reaching out, checking in, making plans. Group messages talking about gardens, plants, work and drinking wine while talking about plants. Another laughing about memes and plotting an outing. A different one talking about men and shenanigans and shenanigans with men.

My youngest brother is being an ass and my Mom is threatening to disown her favourite (and only) daughter if she doesn’t hear from me soon. A WhatsApp conversation with my heart sister in Portugal is kept short because we REALLY need to video chat instead. Another friend, The Editor, is chirping me hard about something — the fact that I probably instigated the chirping conveniently forgotten by me.

To quote The Beatles: “It’s just another day...." (Chirping Editor's Note: You're actually referring to Paul McCartney's first solo single released in 1971, a year after the Beatles split up. Cindy, please pay better attention to Beatles-related accuracy...)

And I love it. These people. Oh, these people. How blessed am I to have them in my life! These connections are so valuable to me, so important. These are my people, my heart. Some of them have been with me for years and some are new to my world. But no matter how long they’ve been with me, there is a common, strong thread that ties them to me: our bond is because of me and me alone. They want to connect with me because they like me and not because they feel an obligation to stay in touch because they were friends of My Favourite Husband (MFH). 

This is important to me; this building of a tribe of people who are discovering me as I discover myself. What they are getting is the me of almost 30 years ago — carefree, curious,  open to possibility. They are getting unapologetic “game for almost anything because you only live once” WTF. Yes, they also get the moments of sad, the moments I stumble, but that’s part of me, too.

They get it all.

For so many years, my life was my marriage and that marriage shaped me into a woman who was tempered with caution, steady with navigation. There was joy and laughter but decisions were made in tandem and thought out. And as MFH became ill and caregiver responsibilities fell to me, the tone in my home was more serious, more somber. I wouldn’t change a single moment of my years as a married woman. Not one.

Life threw me a wicked curveball though and, when everything changed and I became single again, I reverted back to that woman of so many years ago, albeit wiser. Once again, I have a social calendar worthy of the Queen I am. Juggling dates with friends and family and work — tell me one good reason I would say no? No to life? No to fun? No to rediscovering the world around me?

I’m in love with my life. I know there will be bumps — moments of loneliness even though I’m surrounded by people, times of grief even while I’m crying tears of happiness. But it’s all OK because I know how to capture joy and happiness in my own life and make those bumps smooth, all with the help of my people.

❤️