Next adventure, please

Aviation. It captured my heart; pushed into my soul. It’s a world like no other and it has wrapped its silken tentacles around me and kept me cradled in its arms for almost 20 years.

Working for an airline — whether on the ground or in the skies — is being addicted to the adrenalin rush that comes with time deadlines and problem-solving. It's not for the faint of heart. It meant pushing my body to extremes with schedules and rest periods that messed with my sleep patterns and exercise routines, as well as seeing friends and family sporadically at best. It messed with me physically and mentally until fatigue became a way of life.

And yet, after retiring from 18 years of working on the ground, I flew the skies a year into my widowhood because aviation was safe. Aviation was home.

Long ago, I had discussed the possibility of becoming a flight attendant with My Favourite Husband (MFH). He was opposed to the idea, mainly because we enjoyed the life we had built together and flying would take me away for periods of time. So I shelved the idea and, because it wasn’t a dream I felt the need to fulfil, I wasn’t bothered by the fact I never took the chance.

But time on my hands and the pull of the skies was irresistible and, because I knew I was capable of doing difficult things, pursuing flying was simply one more step into this new life I’m creating.

Training was brutal but I did it. And when I hit the skies, I met the best people and had the best time. I had so many adventures and I wouldn’t trade a single minute of my experience. When I started flying, I was home almost every night — unheard of in my world. My work/life balance was in sync and I found my niche. But if there’s one thing that is guaranteed working for an airline, it’s that change is inevitable. And as my airline started to adjust its schedule out of YEG and shift its service, my work/life balance became trickier. 

Tricky doesn’t always work at my age. Being away from home for periods of time is not the life I’m hoping to have. I have no desire to go back to a life where I’m too exhausted to do anything but attempt to chase the sleep I know I’ll never catch.

Becoming a widow has taught me a lot of lessons but one of the most valuable has been to listen to my gut. Listen to my heart. Even if what I’m listening to isn’t practical, it’s what I need for where I am.

So, deep breath in and deep breath out. I’m listening. I gave a month notice and flew my April schedule and was blessed with a month of great crews, clear skies and passengers who made me smile.

The last day of the month was also my last turn and our last day of seasonal service into Arizona. The flight down was lovely but the flight back was magical. So many passengers who I had taken down earlier in the week were on my flight home and they recognized me when they came on board. 

And as I stood in my safety demo position and was introduced by lead flight attendant, I got cheers and whistles when I was introduced. And then she took a moment to tell the people on the plane that I was retiring my wings after 20 years in the business and heading off to have different adventures. I’ve never had a plane full of people clap for me but it was an honour to receive their kind wishes. And I didn’t cry. That’s when I knew I had made the right decision.

In fact the only time my eyes leaked was when we were strapped into our jump seats and close to landing back home. That’s when the lead — a genuinely beautiful human being — had a few words for me privately. And the love I felt made my heart happy but did nothing to change my mind. I did what I knew with my whole self to be what’s right for me.

In the weeks that have passed, I haven’t missed flying. Not one single day. I miss the people I work with and the thrill of looking out of the window of my jump seat and seeing the world from 38,000 feet. But my heart doesn’t ache with regret and I’ve unpacked my roller bag.

I keep the wings I’ve earned and my “flying charm bracelet” where I can see them because they are a reminder that the sky truly is the limit for me. All I need to do is believe in myself, trust myself and know that no matter what, MFH is close by cheering me on.

If I can’t have what I want I can want what I have. My life is beautiful — next adventure, please.

❤️