Chance encounter brings clear message

Chance conversation encounters with strangers are always interesting. Some people believe they aren’t a chance encounter at all but a meeting arranged  by God/ the universe/fates to bring a sign or a message. 

I’m not sure what I believe. There have been times when I wonder if the conversation I’m having has a deeper meaning. There have been times I’ve wondered if I’m the messenger in the conversation. There are times I think nothing of it.

A recent encounter had a clear message: it’s OK to move forward with a love life after the loss of a partner and, if you do, you might find yourself bracing for a negative reaction when you talk about it.

I did a Costco run today and, of course, bought more than I should have. Because of that, I parked at the back of my house, behind my garage. As I was unloading my goodies, a beautiful black dog came running towards me, pulling a sled. As she did the sniff test on me, her owner caught up to her and calmed down her eagerness, advising her to be gentle with me. The dog owner and I started chatting; at first about his dog and then we formally introduced ourselves. He asked how long I had lived in my home and I told him my husband had owned the home before meeting me. When he asked about My Favourite Husband (MFH), I careful explained he had passed away about a year and a half ago. After he expressed his condolences, he told me where he lived (on the corner and across the street) and told me his wife had passed away about two years ago.

We stood for a moment or two in the awkward silence that two people who are widowed have;  the pause where we both know condolences, while heartfelt, don’t soothe. Where what we really want to say is, "How are you really doing?" but we don’t because we are complete strangers. After the silent interlude passed, he proceeded to tell me about the beautiful garden he and his wife created in their backyard. It was his way of opening the door for what he was about to say next ... that he proposed this past summer to his bride to be in that backyard. He looked down as he said it, glancing up only slightly to see what my reaction to this would be. Would I judge him for getting engaged “so soon?" Would I purse my lips, frown, say nothing; letting my body language say everything? 

I waited until he looked up at me fully, smiled deeply and said, “Congratulations, that’s wonderful!" The relief on his face that a fellow widower would be happy for him was humbling. Excited by my sincere congratulations, he then told me that his proposal was a complete surprise to his fiancée. His face lit up when he spoke her name. He said he met her on a dating website and the moment he saw her in person, “God nudged me and whispered 'she’s the one.' " He said they would be married in that backyard and all of it was truly a miracle.

It’s hard to explain how I could be genuinely happy for a complete stranger but I am. I truly am. I told him I was happy he let his heart be open to the possibility of love after loss. He smiled and said to me, “You never know what can happen." While my head and heart are both happy for my neighbour, I also was a little sad he thought I might respond negatively towards the news that his path forward included finding love again.

 

I took this random conversation to be a clear message that finding a different partner to travel through life with is a blessing. The right person, the right place, the right time. All anyone needs to do is be open to the possibility of a love that’s new and different. Not a replacement love but a new love for the new chapter of the story of your life.

The other part is this: there are people who will sit in judgment of this new love: the person, the timing. It doesn’t matter. It’s not their story. It’s their job the be supportive; to be happy. No one should have to share the news that they’ve found someone to share their life with looking down or being hesitant about a reaction.

Today I’m grateful to have met my neighbour and honoured to have shared bits of our stories with each other. I wish him every happiness as he moves forward with each step.

❤️