Lemme tell you about my awesome Valentine's date ... me!

Wow! I’m an awesome date! That’s right. I’m an amazing date! I’m smart, sassy, witty, fun … and I clean up really well! How do I know I’m all that and a bag of chips? Because I took myself out on a Valentine's date and I had the best time. 

I’ve done many, many things alone since My Favourite Husband (MFH) died. Some of them were a bit uncomfortable at first but, once I made the decision to be comfortable with my own company and that being solo wouldn’t stop me from going places and doing things, out into the world I went. 

I celebrated my Valentine's Day on Feb. 15 (working on Feb. 14 will do that to you).

A few weeks ago, I had purchased a single ticket to a candlelight quartet concert at the Pioneer Cabin, an amazingly beautiful, historic building with acoustics that allow music played there to flow, each note wrapping around the audience, sinking into our skin, breathing. 

The concert was a scheduled, hour-long performance of romantic jazz music: songs of love, the promise of love, the movement of love. I’ve been to one other candlelight concert, three months after MFH passed, and I knew that going would bring a softness to my heart and a soothing to my spirit.

I did not invite anyone to my date night. I could’ve but I didn’t want to. The only person I would’ve been ready to share this intimate evening with was with me in spirit, in my heart. Was I sad? No. Did I think I might be? Not sure but probably no. I am just in such a good place in my life and with myself that I knew I needed to celebrate the love I have for myself by myself.

I walked into the cabin confident, strong, secure. I asked one of the ushers to take a few photos of me because when I have moments of doubt — and I will have them — I want to look at myself and find my peace. My ticket was for preferred seating and I chose a seat two rows back; a seat where I could comfortably see the performance and experience the music. I didn’t hide in the corner, in the shadows. And though I was surrounded by couples, the seat beside me remained empty and I could feel the presence of MFH. 

I sent two messages out into the world: a solo message to a friend and a group text to my closest women. Both sets of messages made me tear up. Their love, their support, their cheerleading (and ass-kicking) helped bring me to the point in my widowhood journey where I am now: celebrating Valentine's Day alone and enjoying the love I have for myself.

The concert was everything I hoped it would be. For most of the performance, I kept my eyes closed and just listened. There were moments my eyes blinked back tears and more moments where I smiled. I breathed in the music and exhaled any thoughts that I needed to be part of a two to enjoy times like this.

As I continue to travel this new road and celebrate the woman I’m becoming, I realize that Valentine's Day should be every day and every moment that I look into the mirror. I should be loving the woman reflecting back at me. She needs to be loved and celebrated by the most important person in her life — herself.

I promise to do a better job doing just that.

❤️