I've found my purpose — and I like it

“What am I supposed to do now?”

“Live a life with purpose.”

I thought my grief counsellor was full of crap. I thought the advice was bullshit. My Favourite Husband (MFH) is dead. My life is in upheaval. Most days I don’t even know how I function. And you want me to lead a life with purpose? 

Get bent…

…or not. 

Over a year later, the sentiment actually makes sense. But what is my purpose? It’s great to say “go forth and be purposeful.” But how?

I think my purpose might’ve snuck up on me, slid up to me when I was looking the other way and whispered in my ear, “Hey, over here...."

I think my purpose is to be that someone who people feel comfortable sharing with, even for a brief time. To hear their secrets and keep them close.  To be that ear. Not to solve. Not to “make better.” Just to listen.

I have always worked in customer service. Connecting with people is my jam. For whatever reason, people find me approachable. They share their stories. They laugh with me; cry with me. They trust me. And I take that trust very seriously. Always have, always will. I believe in the power of connecting and that we all matter. 

Being a flight attendant was never a dream job for me. I like being at home in my own bed at night. I liked coming home to MFH and spending time with him. I had no desire to be yanked through different time zones and confined to close quarters with strangers for hours on end.

But here I am: being a flight attendant for something to do. Completing the brutal training.  Proving to myself that not only can I learn something new at my age, I can do it well.

And now that large chunks of my life are flying the skies, I find that I’m connecting with people again. My crews. My passengers. I have people thanking me, holding my hand and telling me that I made their day a bit brighter. If they ask about me, I share a little because sometimes what they are looking for is a connection and a conversation because they’ve been lonely a little too long. 

For the most part, that connection lasts as long as the flight does. Rarely do I see my passengers again. That’s OK, though, because my moments with them were only supposed to be for that window in time. As for my crews, being that person helps us connect and trust for that pairing and all the other ones in the future.

My purpose is also helping me in my new path in life. As I learn about others, I’m learning about myself. I’m learning patience. I’m learning to be nonjudgmental. I’m learning to recognize everyone’s strengths. All of these lessons I knew but some I’ve forgotten. 

I’m also learning about other people's grief and how they’ve handled it. Most of the time, my passengers don’t know I’m widowed but, if they are, they talk about how they move forward.

I think I’ve found my purpose. 

And I like it.

❤️