In praise of Twitter (yes, really)

Twitter, huh?

What began as a way to let people know about my blog (a blog written to connect with others who are working their way down the widowhood road) has provided me with what I considered a missing link in my healing process: a community of widows and widowers to bond with. Who knew?

I’m not going to lie. I balked at using Twitter. Pushed back hard against the idea. When I started writing my blog, my good friend and editor suggested Twitter. He offered to help get me started, to learn about tweeting (I feel like I should sing Rocking Robin now) and to get comfortable on the platform. (You can find me at @yegwidow.) As I slowly started following others and reading about their own journeys, I began to get comfortable and start responding.There are people in the early stages of their loss. I know there are no words to make any of it better and they know there are no words to take away the pain. But just knowing there are people in the world who don’t know but still share love with you — I think it helps. I hope it helps. I also hope it helps that you can ask a question or ask for advice and another person who has navigated through that process can answer. Love and support from your tribe is a gift but that same support from a fellow widower — that level of understanding — is priceless.

There are also widowers like me who’ve been through many “firsts” and I’m learning so much from them as we figure out ways to make our “seconds” a bit easier.

Finally, there are the beautiful people who have been travelling this road for a while. They’ve learned to cope with many more of life’s challenges but it doesn’t mean they don’t hurt or that they have it all figured out. What it does mean is that their advice comes from a place of even more experience. That experience and the fact that it’s shared so freely is a gift. It’s proof you can miss someone to your core and still build a beautiful life if you want. The choice is yours.

COVID-19 took away the opportunity for me to meet fellow widows in person. In-person support groups were nonexistent. So I figured my opportunity to connect was gone. While it made me sad, it didn’t stop me from working at healing; at finding balance; at starting a new chapter. Twitter, by accident, gave that opportunity to me. All I needed to do to be welcomed was to participate.

Twitter also opened up the door to meeting people in other communities. These people didn’t identify specifically as widows; in fact, many of them are writers. I love their humour. I love their  ability to ask questions that make me think. I’m grateful they, too, welcome me and connect with me. They like to play, and I enjoy being saucy and witty with some of my answers. Humour was part of married life and humour is part of widowed life — and I love to play!

So, Twitter, thank you. I hope you survive your ownership change and stick around. Because Twitter has allowed me to discover there’s a big, beautiful world of people out there who genuinely want to help and connect, and who really just want to be supportive. It makes me believe in the good of people.

It makes the world a better place.

❤️