So many stories I want to tell you — and you're not here

I miss everything about you being gone. Just everything. One of the things that hurts the most, though, that guts me, is when I come home from work and you’re not here to listen to my stories. You’re not here to laugh, get excited, get pissed off for me.

So I turn to social media. And I post nice pictures and give a G-rated account of what amused or annoyed me. But no one gets the full story like you did. 

It really hit home this past week. I operated to Vegas Monday night and I got to fly with “M.”  The flight down was so much fun! We got to catch up and have the best time with our passengers. You would’ve loved to have heard about the two young fellows from England who were having a layover in Vegas on their way to Central America. They are young and full of life and energy and possibly an adult beverage or two. They were seated with an elderly lady who asked for a seat change just as we were securing the cabin. I told her when the captain turned off the seatbelt sign after takeoff, I’d be happy to accommodate the move. By the time I went back to her, those young men had won her over. They were the best of friends! In fact, although people around them looked at them a bit hesitantly, they won everyone around them over. They were charming and fun and kind and obviously raised right. They bought their seat mate her coffee and helped her store her luggage. They flirted with both “M” and I  in such a fun way. 

I wanted to tell you all about that; all about the smiles and all the laughs. I know you’d appreciate hearing about it. I hope you know.

I wanted to tell you about my flight to London (Ontario). About the charming little boy I became friends with and his two stuffed huskies, Blue and Blue, both named after his real-life husky Blue. I wanted to tell you about his smile and the way his parents let him interact with me and how he said goodbye to me — by name. You would’ve smiled. You connected so much with kids.

And I really wanted to tell you how I saw the Northern lights for the first time! I called the flight deck and asked the captain if we could see them anywhere from the route we were flying. He wasn’t sure but said if we did, he’d call back and I could come up. He called back and told me to come up. And I saw them when we were flying over Saskatoon. My heart beat so fast; the sheer beauty of them. My eyes got a bit leaky which was fine because it was night and the flight deck was dark. But I wanted to tell you about what I saw. I wanted to tell you how amazing they are.

I hope that wherever you are, you know how they look. How I feel. 

I believe that wherever you are, you are still with me. Meeting these people. Seeing this beauty. Living the crazy adventure that is my life. 

But I still missing telling you in person. I miss seeing the smile on your face and in your eyes. 

I just fucking miss you.

❤️